


Wait For Me

by damianwayne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Reincarnation AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8112346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianwayne/pseuds/damianwayne
Summary: The moment they touch each other for the first time, they remember their past lives.Oikawa thinks fate is cruel for making him fall in love with Ushijima in every life, just so they'll be separated again. But that doesn't stop him from falling for him again and again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> how the hell did this become 12k....  
> also somebody in the ushioisquad brought this idea up weeks ago but i dont remember who so here have it  
> wow its been so long since i wrote a serious fic that i didnt write just to make myself laugh

If soul mates existed, Oikawa didn’t believe in them. 

Not until he met Ushijima for the first time, centuries ago. Back then they both carried different names, but they were the same as they were now. And even then, he didn’t think that this man would change his entire life and all the other lives to come. 

To be fair, he caught Oikawa’s eyes quickly. He was handsome with a strong jawline and piercing eyes. Oikawa wished he could see what was underneath the dark fabric the man was wearing.

Not that it mattered anyway, Ushijima was off limits. Not only because they were both men, but also because Ushijima was the samurai of their enemy. He was here with his master, accompanying him as his strongest and most skilled warrior.

Oikawa wondered  _ how  _ skilled he was. 

He knew he was off limits, but that didn’t stop either of them. 

Oikawa’s interest was woken when he first laid eyes on Ushijima. Oikawa was a spoiled rich young man, someone who has been born with a silver teaspoon in his mouth and a title placed upon him even without having to do anything. He always got everything he wanted and Ushijima was no exception.

It was night when Oikawa found him outside, training alone, wielding his sword. Oikawa held his breath for a moment and watched the elegant movement of Ushijima’s body and the sound of the katana wielding through the air. He didn’t even realize Ushijima noticed him, until the other called out his name and bowed.

Oikawa smirked and stepped closer. “You’re very skilled,” he said.

“I have to be,” Ushijima replied and for the first time they looked at each other,  _ really  _ looked at each other. 

“I’m still impressed,” Oikawa said, “my sword skills are nowhere near as good as yours.”

“I’m sure you have other talents.”

“Oh, indeed I have.” Oikawa smirked and they still didn’t break eye contact. Oikawa could see that Ushijima’s eyes widened a little bit, even if not much. He was glad to see he could draw a reaction out of the otherwise stoic appearing man.

“Maybe you should show me some time,” Ushijima suggested and now it was Oikawa who was surprised for a moment. 

He collected himself quickly and put on his sly smile again, getting more confident. “I will,” he promised, “someday. You shouldn’t train outside during the night all on your own, people might get the wrong idea.”

“I’m not all on my own,” Ushijima said and Oikawa chuckled.

“Doesn’t change anything,” Oikawa replied, “ _ people might get the wrong idea. _ ”

Ushijima bit down on his lower lip and Oikawa could feel how the other man was checking him out and when he saw that light tug at the corner of Ushijima’s lips, he couldn’t help but curl his lips up too. 

“Would they really be that wrong, though?”

Oikawa laughed. “No, I suppose not,” he said. “I wish you a good night.” He left and went back to his chambers, not turning around to give Ushijima a last look, but he knew that Ushijima was looking after him.

He always got what he wanted and Ushijima was no exception.

* * *

 

Over the next few days, they stole glances and held onto them when they noticed the other’s glance. They exchanged smiles and it was like they were talking a language without words only the two of them understood. They talked a little bit more and Oikawa wished he could stay with him for hours and listen to Ushijima’s deep voice.

Oikawa couldn’t explain it and neither could Ushijima probably, why they were so attracted to each other. He didn’t need an explanation anyway. He wouldn’t be any wiser from it anyway and it wasn’t going to stop him.

“I see how you look at him,” his mother told him once when they were in the gardens. “Not only is it wrong because he’s a man, but he’s also our enemy. You’re our future leader, do not forget that. And if your father will find out this, there will be consequences.”

Oikawa denied her accusations and his mother nodded, but he knew she didn’t believe her. “You’re my only child,” she said, “you should be glad your father doesn’t have any other sons, only daughters.”

Oikawa knew it. But he couldn’t stop himself from being attracted to Ushijima. 

The same day he met Ushijima again, Oikawa didn’t care anymore. The words of his mother were branded in his memories, and yet he didn’t care. He just repeated them. “I see the way you look at me,” he whispered and nothing more needed to be said. 

They were in Ushijima’s chamber, which was the opposite of Oikawa’s. Small, with no decorations or anything special, but neither of them cared. Not when they exchanged their first kiss and so many other kisses that followed that one. Not when Oikawa was sliding onto Ushijima’s lap, straddling him and burying his fingers into Ushijima’s dark and long hair, tugging on it.

“This is wrong,” Ushijima said.

“I think it’s a little bit too late for that now,” Oikawa replied, licking his lips. Ushijima swallowed hard and tightened his grip around Oikawa’s hips.

“You’re right,” he said, “and I couldn’t stop myself anyway.”

“Good,” Oikawa said, “don’t stop.”

He didn’t. Not that night or so many other nights to come. It wasn’t just a purely physical relationship. They stayed awake so many times afterwards and cuddled, Ushijima’s arm draped over his body and exchanged sweet words.

“I think,” Oikawa said one day, “I love you.” Ushijima didn’t reply and Oikawa sat up. “What? You’re not going to say it back?”

Ushijima sat up too and kissed him sweetly. “You know I do. But if I say it…”

“What?”

“It changes everything. You know we can never be,” Ushijima said, “even if we wouldn’t be men. You’re your father’s son. And I can’t stay here forever.”

“Stay,” Oikawa said. “Stay here. Leave your master.”

“You know I can’t.” 

Oikawa bit down on his lower lip. What did he expect when he first fell for him? He leaned his forehead against Ushijima’s. “I hate you then,” Oikawa said with his eyes closed, “I’m taking back my words now because I hate you.”

“You don’t,” Ushijima said and Oikawa didn’t have to open his eyes to know Ushijima was smiling. He knew him too well by now. “If you hated me, everything would be easier.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to hate you here!”

Ushijima laughed and placed a kiss on Oikawa’s lips. “I love you.”

Oikawa shook his head. “You just said you won’t say it!”

“Because it would change everything,” Ushijima agreed, “but hasn’t it already?”

Oikawa opened his eyes and his heart was aching. “Stupid,” he muttered and kissed Ushijima over and over again, “you’re so stupid. Making me fall for you.”

“You made me fall for you too.”

Oikawa gasped and leaned back. “Did you just imply I’m stupid too?”

Ushijima smiled wordlessly and kissed Oikawa’s forehead. “Ugh, now you’re not even replying.” Oikawa sighed and roamed his hands over Ushijima’s back, pulling him down as he laid down on the bed again. 

“We could run away,” he suggested when Ushijima was on top of him, his broad hand caressing Oikawa’s thigh. “Just you and me. Forget all of this and be, I don’t know, peasants.”

“You could never live as a peasant,” Ushijima replied.

“Have more faith in me!”

Ushijima laughed and shook his head. “You know it’s true. You would be unhappy, I’d never want you to be unhappy.”

“I’m happy with you,” Oikawa replied, bringing his hand up and carefully touching Ushijima’s face. His fingertips brushed over Ushijima’s lips and cheeks.

“You know we can’t do it,” Ushijima said.

“Would you do it, though?”

“Yes. But would you?”

Oikawa didn’t say anything. “I love you,” he just replied instead. “Even if you’d be a ronin and not a samurai.”

Ushijima smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

 

He loved Ushijima and that love could never be, they both knew it. Never would they have thought that it would literally ruin them. 

“I’m coming over tonight,” Oikawa told Ushijima.

“I’ll look forward to it then.”

“It has been way too long,” Oikawa whined. He thought they were alone. They should be, nobody else was ever going to this one secret place. Only a few knew about it, he found it as a child and ever since then had used it as his secret hideout. Not many were allowed to enter in this area either.

“I’ve missed you too,” Ushijima said and Oikawa smiled.

“Can I get a kiss?”

“We’re in a public place.”

“Please. Just one kiss so I can survive the rest of the day,” Oikawa pleaded and Ushijima sighed. He could never decline Oikawa anything, so he leaned down to kiss Oikawa, who immediately wrapped his arm around him and kissed him back eagerly.

“What is the meaning of this?” a voice suddenly appeared.

They yanked back from each other and Oikawa saw the furious face of his father.

“Father-”

“What does this mean?! He’s a man! He’s the  _ enemy. _ ” His father turned to Ushijima. “Get away from my son.”

Ushijima bowed. “I-”

“Spare your excuses,” Oikawa’s father said. “You will die in the hands of me.”

“No, father!” Oikawa shouted.

His father turned around. “It’s already bad enough my son has a preference for other men and for the  _ enemy,  _ you’re not going to tell me you have feelings for this mean too, do you?”

Oikawa swallowed. “I do. Please, spare his life!”

“You have feelings for him?!”

“Yes! I love him! If you know what love is, father, please, don’t do this. If you ever loved anyone, me, mother, or any of your other wives or daughters-” Oikawa begged on his knees.

“Stand up,” his father said. “You’re still my heir. If I would have another son, you’d be dead by now, but I can’t spare my only heir.”

Oikawa got up on his feet. “Please, father. Send him away. I will never see him again, and we’ll never talk about it ever again, I will do anything you want of me. Just  _ don’t harm him. _ ”

It would hurt, to never be able to see Ushijima again, but everything was better than this.

Oikawa’s father took a deep breath. “I will give you the last honor you have, even if you don’t deserve it,” he told Ushijima. “You can die by my or your own hand.”

“No!” Oikawa screamed, tears in his eyes.

“I will die by mine,” Ushijima said.

“What? Don’t say that! Father-”

“Be quiet. I have no patience for you. You have until the end of this day.” He turned away and Oikawa fell to his knees again next to Ushijima.

“Why did you say that?!”

“He was going to kill me,” Ushijima said. “I’d rather die by my own sword.”

“No, you’re not! You’re not going to die!” Oikawa screamed, the tears flowing down his face. “I will not accept this! We’ll run away, you and me, just like we said. We’ll be peasants, I don’t care-”

“I do,” Ushijima said. “And you both know I can’t run away from here. If I do, your father’s men will be following me. And he will sullen my family’s honor. I can’t do this to them.”

“Please,” Oikawa cried.

“I love you,” Ushijima said, and pulled him closer. “Don’t ever forget it.”

“No.” He was sobbing into Ushijima’s shoulder now. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me, please.”

“I am glad I met you,” Ushijima said and pulled Oikawa back, cupping his face. He had tears in his eyes now too. When they kissed, it tasted salty. 

“Shut up,” Oikawa muttered. “You know I am too. I hate you. Leaving me all alone in this world. I will never forget you, I will always love you. Okay? Always. In this life and all the other lives to come.”

Ushijima smiled and wiped Oikawa’s tears away. They didn’t know how true those words were. “I hope we meet again then.”

“We will,” Oikawa said and they kissed again.

The next morning Oikawa woke up in an empty bed and heart and more tears. He never forgave his father and took the same sword Ushijima had used to kill himself to kill his father a few years later.

* * *

* * *

  
  
  


The job was easy.

Oikawa had harder jobs. It shouldn’t be so hard to kill that guy, he wasn’t specially skilled or anything, or at least that’s what Oikawa heard. He was also not heavily guarded, just a few guards and other company being on the ride with him through the land.

Oikawa just had to wait for the night when they all rested and sneak into Ushijima’s tent and kill him. Easy. Just one easy kill, a stab to his heart. Not too deep, just enough for his victim to wake up. Oikawa liked it, like talking to his victim one last time before he completely killed them.

Maybe he shouldn’t do it, because there was a chance his victim could fight back. Not that they’d have a chance, but it was exhausting. 

Oikawa was patient and he waited long enough, watching them from a safe distance until it got dark and the stars started to shine upon the night sky. He waited longer until the light in Ushijima’s tent had gone out, until he attacked.

Oikawa was quiet, he had to be as a ninja. Nobody ever caught him, he was the best of the best. When he finally approached the bed of his victim, he held still for a short while. Yes, he had watched and observed Ushijima for the past few days, but never from up close.

He was handsome and it was a pity he had to kill him. 

“What a shame,” Oikawa whispered and drew his dagger. Ushijima could’ve had a nice life probably. He was rich and handsome, he could’ve had a wife and many children. Not that it mattered anyway.

Oikawa stabbed him, which made Ushijima’s eyes snap open. Oikawa immediately covered the other male’s mouth with his hand, so nobody could hear his scream. But when his naked skin touched Ushijima’s, memories of his past life overcame him.

He remembered their selves of their past lives, they carried other names and faces back then, but it was still the same. He was still the same man Oikawa used to love, in another life and the same man he lost.

Oikawa choked and drew back his hand, whispering the name of Ushijima’s past self. “No… what have I done,” he whispered. “I- I didn’t know, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay,” Ushijima said.

“No, it’s not! I killed you!” Oikawa had tears in his eyes. “I already had to spend an entire life without you and now that I found you again…”

Ushijima coughed blood and winced when he reached with his hand for Oikawa’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

“But-”

“I’m glad I was able to meet you again,” Ushijima said. Oikawa cried more, holding Ushijima’s hand in place.

“You’re leaving me again and I can’t even be angry at you anymore, because it’s my fault. It’s  _ always  _ my fault,” Oikawa cried.

“We met again,” Ushijima said, “and we will again.”

“How will I be able to live knowing I killed the man I loved? Don’t… please, you can survive this…”

“It’s too late. I-... Don’t forget. I love you.”

Oikawa shook his head. “You know I won’t. Neither in this life nor in my next one.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting for you. Promise me, you will live.”

“I can’t!”

“Promise me,  _ please _ .” Ushijima choked out before he closed his eyes.

“No!” Oikawa screamed. He didn’t care that he might wake the others now. “I just found you again!”

Ushijima didn’t respond and Oikawa stared at the stabbing wound. The one he had inflicted. “No, no, no,” he sobbed, pulling out the dagger. “I’m so sorry, please,  _ please.  _ I can’t do this again. Not again.”

His fingers were soaked in Ushijima’s blood by now and he didn’t even care anymore when he was discovered. 

He had been right. Killing Ushijima had been easy, a job like any other. He’d rather die here with Ushijima’s dead body right next to him, but Ushijima wanted him to promise to keep on living.

“Idiot,” Oikawa muttered. Killing Ushijima was easy, but living with knowing that he killed the man he loved, was way harder. But he did it, he kept on living for Ushijima’s sake. Oikawa placed a kiss on Ushijima’s lips before drawing his katana and fighting for himself. 

* * *

* * *

 

“Ugh, look at him. I hate him,” Oikawa complained.

His best friend laughed. “Do you hate him because he’s the heir of the rival clan or…”

“Yes, that’s it,” Oikawa said. “No other reasons.” He shook his head. “He’s so full of himself. I don’t even get why all the women are so fond of him.”

“They are of you too,” his friend said and Oikawa scoffed.

“Yes, because I am  _ charming.  _ He? He isn’t. He’s full of himself and stoic and has no brain. Even the  _ emperor _ is fond of him.” Oikawa scrunched his nose and shook his head.

He didn’t understand the appeal in Ushijima. He was nothing but an eyesore. Oikawa lived at the emperor’s court, as did Ushijima and even though they’ve both lived here for a long time now, they never really were close. Their families were rivals and they were both fighting for the emperor’s favor. 

He made Oikawa so  _ angry _ . 

“I heard the emperor wants to marry his daughter off to him,” his friend said.

“What?  _ Which  _ daughter? He has so many.” Oikawa turned to him. “Whoever it is, I feel bad for her. A man like he can’t satisfy her. I’d be a better pick.”

“Who? For the young man or the princess-”

“Shut up!” Oikawa groaned, blushing. “I’m not interested in  _ him. _ ” He wasn’t. Really. When he stared at Ushijima from afar it wasn’t because he admired him, it was because he hated him  _ so much.  _

“And I mean the oldest daughter of the empress.”

“Oh.” Oikawa swallowed. “That doesn’t make sense. Who would marry off their most desirable daughter to such an idiot?”

His friend laughed at a response. “Just say that you’re jealous.”

“I am not jealous! I just do not understand.” Oikawa shook his head. “She won’t be happy with him. I know it, he never has eyes for women anyway. He will probably only bed her to produce an heir and that’s it.”

“Wouldn’t you like that?” his friend teased.

“Oh, you’re an awful friend!” Oikawa complained and turned away. Not that he was really wrong.

* * *

 

Okay, maybe he did think Ushijima was handsome too, which made Oikawa even angrier and hate Ushijima more. It just wasn’t fair. He was his rival, he got everything Oikawa wanted and on top of it apparently soon to be married to the princess. Rumors had been spread all over the last few days.

It’s not like he had any chance either. Ushijima wasn’t interested and Oikawa would rather die than ever admit it. So instead he kept staring at Ushijima whenever the other man wasn’t looking and quickly looked away and ignored the teasing looks of his friend.

“You do know he’s your enemy, right?”

“Now, you’re just exaggerating,” Oikawa said, but he knew it wasn’t exactly wrong. If it would come to it, they could stand on different sides in battle and Oikawa wasn’t allowed to hesitate. 

“Maybe I am,” his friend said, shrugging. “Who cares anyway? He isn’t interested in your petty ass.”

Oikawa gasped and slapped his friend on the side. “Rude. I’m desirable.”

“So you admit it?”

“No!” Oikawa shouted, his face heating up. Never. He would never admit it, he thought to himself that afternoon, but only a few hours later, his mind was going to change. 

He was in town in one of its pubs. His friend was accompanying him, but soon gone. He found a lovely lady who he didn’t mind spending a few coins on and left Oikawa alone. Not that Oikawa minded, he was gambling and winning at the moment.

When he won, Oikawa grinned and took the money he got. “Nobody has ever been able to beat me,” he said.

“Mind if I change that?” somebody else asked and Oikawa looked up to see Ushijima.

Oikawa groaned. “Not  _ you. _ ”

“So, are you afraid I might win?” Ushijima raised his eyebrows and Oikawa cursed him in his head.

“Fine. But don’t cry when I rob you of all your money.” He pointed at the seat across from Oikawa. “Prepare for losing.”

“I doubt that will happen,” Ushijima said.

“Please, I’d bet all the money I won tonight,” Oikawa said and put it on the table. “And like you can see, it’s a lot.”

“You’re that confident?”

Oikawa smirked. “I am  _ always  _ confident.”

Ushijima licked his lips. “I don’t want that as a prize.”

“What do you want then?”

“If I win,” Ushijima said, “I want your horse.”

“What?!” Oikawa shouted.

“It shouldn’t be a problem, considering you think you’re going to win,” Ushijima said as he collected the pieces on the board.

“Fine. You get my horse. If I win, which is  _ way  _ more realistic, I’ll get yours. Even though I don’t really want it anyway, it’s not as great as mine. It’s an ugly horse.”

“Don’t insult a man’s horse,” Ushijima said. “And we’ll see about it.”

Oikawa really hasn’t been defeated before, so a lot of people gathered around them and watched the game with anticipation. He had never played such an intense game of Go before and was struggling. Ushijima on the other hand seemed totally calm, as if it wasn’t hard for him at all and that made Oikawa hate him even  _ more.  _

About an hour later, Oikawa lost for the first time. 

“No,” he whispered, “this can’t be.”

He looked up to see Ushijima smirking at him. God, how he  _ hated _ that ridiculously handsome face. “I don’t believe this! You cheated!”

“Seems like you’re a sore loser.” Ushijima leaned back.

“Shut up,” Oikawa muttered. 

“I want my prize.”

“Ugh. Fine!” Oikawa stood up and put some money on the table for the drinks he had this night and left. He didn’t want to stay here anymore anyway. Ushijima just wordlessly followed him.

“So, how do you want to do this, huh? Want my horse now? You know I don’t know how to get home, right?” Oikawa asked, as he walked to the stalls where his precious horse was.

Ushijima just eyed Oikawa and then walked over to the beautiful white horse and pet it. 

“Don’t touch it!”

“He’s mine now, isn’t he?” Ushijima asked. “I think he likes me.”

“He doesn’t.” He did. 

“What’s his name?”

“None of your business!” Oikawa snapped, crossing his arms. “Just give it a different name. I think I will gag when I hear you call my horse by the name I gave him.”

“You’re being childish. I won your horse fair and-”

“Shut up for one minute, will you?” Oikawa said. “Will I at least get to say goodbye?”

“Of course,” Ushijima said, “you can ride him back.”

Oikawa glared at Ushijima and walked towards his horse. “I’m sorry I lost you to this awful human being.”

“That’s how you think of me?” Ushijima asked.

“Isn’t that what we both think of each other?” Oikawa replied, turning to Ushijima. 

“I don’t,” Ushijima said. “I see you merely as the son of my family’s enemy.”

Oikawa laughed. “Doesn’t that mean you think badly of me?”

“No,” Ushijima replied. “I don’t.” His gaze was way too intense and Oikawa turned away.

“Well, you  _ are _ awful. You made me lose my horse. My favorite, might I add,” Oikawa said. “What do you intend to do with it?” 

“Maybe I will give it my future wife as a gift.”

“So it’s true,” Oikawa said. “You’re going to marry the princess.”

Ushijima didn’t reply and turned to the horse again, petting it. “Would you mind?”

“If you marry the princess? No! Why would I?”

“I mean, if I’d give your horse to her.”

“Oh.” Oikawa blushed. “Probably. At least he’s in better hands than if you’d keep it.”

“I don’t actually want your horse.”

“Rude! It’s a beautiful horse! I lost anyway, don’t need to be so rude on top of it!” Oikawa complained.

“I just wanted to be alone with you, but I couldn’t have said that as a prize, could I?” Ushijima asked and Oikawa opened his mouth, trying to form words, but none came out. He was too shocked to say or do anything, his entire body tensing, as he stared into Ushijima’s dark eyes.

“I… What?”

“Would you have accepted my request without having to lose a game of Go?” Ushijima asked and Oikawa still didn’t know what to say. He swallowed hard and then slowly nodded.

“Probably.”

Ushijima smiled and Oikawa hated how much he loved his smile.

“Good.” Ushijima nodded and stepped closer. Oikawa didn’t even dare to breath now. They’ve known each other for so long and Oikawa had always thought Ushijima hated him as much as Oikawa hated him. He never thought he’d hated him  _ that way  _ too. “Can I…”

“Don’t make me wait any longer,” Oikawa whispered before he grabbed Ushijima by his collar and pulled him into a passionate kiss. 

As soon as their lips touched, memories of their past lives flowed into them. They didn’t break the kiss, no. Ushijima grabbed his waist and kissed him back eagerly as they both drank in the memories.

When they finally parted, Oikawa realized he had tears in the corner of his eyes. His hands wandered to Ushijima’s face. “It’s you,” he breathed.

“Did you… did see that too?” Ushijima asked and Oikawa nodded, giving him a big smile.

“I found you again. And I didn’t kill you this time.”

Ushijima still didn’t let him go, his arms around Oikawa’s waist. He smiled back. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa said.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Ushijima replied. “That was in another life. You couldn’t have known.”

“It still is horrible to know we skipped on one life just because I  _ killed  _ you!”

Ushijima kissed him softly. “We have each other now. You found me.”

“Yes,” Oikawa said against Ushijima’s lips. “I found you.”

“And I’m not letting you go this time,” Oikawa said. “You hear me? You’re not going to die again. And I’m not going to live yet another life without you.” He pointed at Ushijima’s chest. “I will never let you go.”

Ushijima kissed him again and Oikawa pushed him away. “If we don’t want to repeat history, better not kiss me in public.”

“I will just kill anyone who gets in our way,” Ushijima replied, blunt as always. Oikawa laughed.

“What about the princess? What about her father, the  _ emperor _ ?”

“I said what I said,” Ushijima replied.

“Don’t say things so easily,” Oikawa whispered.

“You just said you won’t let me go,” Ushijima pointed out. “I won’t either. I want to be together with you in this life.” 

Oikawa smiled. “First, let’s be together for this night.”

* * *

 

“Do you think the world wants us to be star crossed lovers?” Oikawa asked.

Ushijima turned to his side, gently stroking Oikawa’s naked exposed skin. His hand wandered over Oikawa’s shoulder to his hips and his thighs. “I’d hate the world for that, but…”

“But?”

“At least I get to be with you again in every life.”

Oikawa scoffed. “Last life we didn’t even have five minutes.”

“Better than nothing.”

“Maybe for you,” Oikawa said. “You idiot made me promise not to die. I had to live an entire life without you.” He snuggled closer and put his arm around his lover. “What now?”

Ushijima cupped Oikawa’s face. “What do you mean?”

“You’re to be married to the princess. Also, might I add, we’re still enemies. At least our families are.”

Ushijima bit down on his lower lip. “What do you want?”

“We could run away,” Oikawa said. “Remember when I said that? You and I. Just run away and be peasants.”

Ushijima smiled and kissed him. “Yes.”

“What?”

“Let’s do it.”

Oikawa widened his eyes. “What, no weird speeches? How I couldn’t be able to live as a peasant?”

“No.” Ushijima shook his head. “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“Ugh, I’d be a better peasant than you.” Ushijima raised his eyebrows and Oikawa rolled his eyes in response. “Fine. I would be a horrible one. But at least I have you.” Oikawa kissed him. “We’ll just be rice farmers.”

* * *

 

“You slept with him,” his friend said.

“I… guess?”

“You slept with him!”

Oikawa ducked his head. “Ssh, quieter! Yeah, I did. Why are you so surprised? I thought you saw it coming.”

Oikawa’s friend groaned. “I just never thought it would actually happen! And he’s going to marry the  _ princess.  _ You know that, right?”

“Yes.” Oikawa smiled and didn’t tell his friend about the plans he and Ushijima had. Things like this didn’t matter when they were soulmates. When they were destined to be together.

This time nothing could bring them apart, not even the marriage to the emperor’s daughter.

Or so they thought.

* * *

 

Oikawa woke up one night, one of the few nights he woke up without Ushijima by his side because they have spent almost every night together ever since they found each other again.

His heart hurt and he tried to remember when he went to bed last night. He tried to sit up, but something stopped him from doing so. He looked down and saw that both of his feet were tied to the bed and so were his arms.

“What the-”

“Ssh,” a female voice appeared. It was the princess.

“Princess?” Oikawa asked.

She smiled. “Don’t make any voice, I just wanted to talk to you.” She sat down on the bed and Oikawa could barely see her in the darkness. “I know what’s going on.”

“What?”

“I heard you and my fiancé talking. You want to run away.” She shook her head. “I can’t have this. Do you know how it will look? It’s disrespectful to leave the bride to be before the wedding.  _ Especially  _ if the bride is the princess.”

“I’m sorry…” Oikawa hadn’t even thought about it. All he had cared about was Ushijima and his happiness. Maybe they were selfish, but after the past two failed lives, he thought they deserved to be.

The princess just laughed and shook her head. She dragged a finger over Oikawa’s cheek. “You’re handsome, but I’m still surprised my future husband likes men.”

Oikawa swallows. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing. I’m the princess. I will not do anything.” The smile she gave him was lethal. She brought up her arms and Oikawa blinked. What was that? “You know, when my father told me about the engagement, I was full of joy. He is a very handsome and strong man and always treated me well. I liked him and how jealous the others were. But then… there was  _ you. _ ”

Her smile and voice dropped and she stuffed some cloth into Oikawa’s mouth. He tried to fight her and, but his hands and arms were tied too tightly.

“I’m not going to kill you,” she said, “don’t worry. I’m still the princess. But however… somebody else is going to. And I want you to know that he is  _ mine.  _ I am his wife. I want you to know that  _ I  _ will marry him and he will never know that your death was on me. I will sleep with him and bear his children and they will have his grandchildren. You are just a short chapter in his life, meanwhile I will  _ be  _ his life _. _ ”

She stepped back and Oikawa screamed, but no screams could be heard. The princess turned to the corner, where out of the shadows a man appeared. Oikawa couldn’t see his face, but he did see the sword the man was carrying.

No! Not again, he can’t die now. Especially not when Ushijima was going to marry her… and have children with her. He screamed and fought, but it was no use.

_ I love you _ , he thought.  _ Wait for me. _

Those were his last thoughts before he died.

* * *

* * *

 

When he was six years old, he met Ushijima for the first time.

He didn’t even know who Ushijima was at that time. They were at a grand party and he saw another child in his age, so Oikawa wanted to go and play with him, but his mother put a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder.

She turned him around to her and smiled at him, soft and gentle as always. “I know what you’re thinking, but he’s our rival.”

“Enemy?” Oikawa repeated.

“Yes. The Yasuda Bank belongs to his family,” she explained. “Do you know what that means?”

Oikawa thought for a while. “The Yasuda company is our rival?” he guessed and his mother nodded and smiled, petting her son’s head.

“Exactly. He’s the heir of the Yasuda Bank and you’re the one of the Mitsui. One day, you’ll be rivals too. So better not befriend him now,” she said and Oikawa was old enough to understand.

He memorized his mother’s words while looking over to the other child. He was a little bit confused, but he was a good child who listened to his mother. He didn’t want the wrath of his father, he saw it often enough already.

“I promise I won’t, mother,” he said and his mother chuckled.

“I know. You’re a smart child.” 

* * *

 

He met Ushijima sometimes, but Oikawa prefered not to talk to him and vice versa. He didn’t really spend a lot of times thinking about the other male, he had other problems he had to think about.

They ended up in the same university, but their paths didn’t cross. Oikawa was fine with it and he just assumed Ushijima was too. He had no interest in him, all he associated with Ushijima was his family’s company. Did he hate him? No. How could he, when they barely knew each other? 

No hard feelings. 

That was until one day they met each other in the library of the university.

Oikawa really needed a book for one of his lectures and he just couldn’t find it. He asked and it should be here, but it was nowhere to be found. He groaned and leaned his head against the bookshelf where it was supposed to be.

“Can I help you?”

Oikawa turned around to see Ushijima was standing in front of him. Oikawa eyed him. “I doubt you could help me,” Oikawa replied.

“You’re searching for this book, aren’t you?” Ushijima asked, holding up the exact book Oikawa was searching for. He widened his eyes.

“That’s- yes! How did you know?” Oikawa grabbed it out of his hands.

“We have the same classes,” Ushijima explained.

“Oh.” Oikawa nodded. “Do you need it?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa grunted. He thought what Ushijima would do if Oikawa would just run away with the book. He would get away with it. But instead he handed the book back to Ushijima. “So what, are you just here to rub it under my nose that you got the book before me?”

“Of course not,” Ushijima replied. “I was offering it to you when I’m finished.”

Oikawa was surprised. He didn’t  _ hate  _ Ushijima, but he’d never help out his enemy. “Wait, really?”

“Yes, of course. I only need one chapter,” Ushijima explained. 

“What? Thank you so much! You’re a gift!” Oikawa beamed at him and the shorter male smiled lightly. It was rare to see him smile, Oikawa noticed. He had a nice smile. “When do you think will you be finished?”

“I suppose by tomorrow?”

That was fast and Oikawa appreciated it. “Okay. How about we meet here at the same time?” 

Ushijima nodded and they talked a little bit more, until Oikawa left.

Yes, he never really had an opinion about the other male, but now he did. Ushijima wasn’t that bad. They were still rivals, which Oikawa shouldn’t forget, but for the rest of the day he thought about that one light smile Ushijima had shown him.

* * *

 

They met the next day at the library again.

“So, what did you think about the book?” Oikawa asked. Ushijima seemed surprised by the question.

“It was very enjoyable,” Ushijima said. “I’m interested in the subject. Maybe when you’re finished with it, you can give it back to me so I can read the rest.”

Oikawa raised his eyebrows. “Are you serious? This is such a dry and boring topic, how can you  _ enjoy  _ something like that?” Maybe he just really wanted to talk to Ushijima, he didn’t particularly care why the other man liked it. But when Ushijima started talking, Oikawa listened to every word.

It wasn’t about what he was talking, it was more about  _ how  _ he was talking. His expression didn’t change and he explained it in such a boring matter, but Oikawa really liked his calm and soothing voice.

“Hey… maybe we can discuss more once I finished reading it?” Oikawa suggested shyly afterwards and Ushijima nodded and smiled again, the second time now.

“I’d like that.”

Oikawa smiled at him. “Okay! I’ll let you know!”

To be fair, the book was just as boring as Oikawa had expected it to be. But thinking about talking to Ushijima made it more interesting to him. He read faster than usual, so he had a reason to talk to the other man again and made notes about things he thought were interesting enough so he could discuss them with Ushijima.

“Get a grip,” Oikawa told himself when he found himself reading late into the night, “he’s still your rival.”

But a very nice rival and with such a nice smile. He should smile more often and Oikawa made it his personal mission to make him smile. And he did. The next time they talked with each other was nice and Oikawa looked forward to their next meeting. 

And they met each other so often again and again, talking about nothing and everything and Oikawa felt more drawn to him with every second.

Until his mother found out about their friendship. “I heard from somebody that you and the Yasuda heir are friends,” she said. “Do you not remember what I told you?”

Oikawa bit down on his lower lip. “I know mother, but-”

“But? Be glad your father doesn’t know about it yet, but he will soon. He won’t be happy about it and we both don’t want to see your father angry,” she reminded him. Oikawa nodded. He knew of his father’s rage and how dangerous he could be. “It doesn’t matter how well you might like him. You’re still rivals and will always be.”

Oh, she couldn’t have been more right.

The next time he met Ushijima again, they were in the library with nobody else around them. “My mother told me not to be your friend anymore,” Oikawa told him.

“We’re friends?”

“You hurt me! Of course we’re friends,” Oikawa said. “Do you think I talk to just anyone for hours?” He rolled his eyes and Ushijima nodded.

“So, will you listen to your mother?” he asked.

“What does  _ your  _ family think about us?”

“They don’t know. But I assume they would say the same if they’d known,” Ushijima said. “We’re rivals after all.”

“I guess we should stop meeting, then,” Oikawa said and looked down at the table, anywhere but at Ushijima. He didn’t want to, but it was better that way.

“I suppose that is for the best.”

“You don’t even sound hurt. Was I the only one who… forget it. I guess you never cared for me,” Oikawa scoffed and turned away when Ushijima called his name. “I thought we were friends. Friends don’t just let friends go that easily.”

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima apologized. “You were a good friend. I never thought I’d enjoy your company that much, considering our families’ rivalry, but I did.”

Oikawa smiled. “Well, you’re not as heartless as I thought you were.”

“You thought I was heartless?”

“For a second, yes.” Oikawa shrugged and offered Ushijima his hand. “I suppose that’s it then.”

Ushijima looked down at Oikawa’s hand and then shook it. But as soon as their skin touched, it happened yet again, for a third time. Both of them remembered their first lives and their second and third.

Oikawa gasped and let go immediately. Ushijima seemed just as surprised as he was. “That… what the…”

Ushijima looked up and into his eyes. “What was that?”

Oikawa blinked and then he laughed. He put his hand in front of his mouth to muffle his laughs, since they were still in the library.

“What?” Ushijima asked.

“You’re so different than from our past lives,” Oikawa explained. “You’re so  _ tiny. _ You barely reach my shoulders.”

“I believe I’m  _ taller  _ than that,” Ushijima insisted and Oikawa just shook his head and laughed. When he finally calmed down, he put his hand away.

“I don’t mind,” he said, smiling. “I found you again. And you’re cute like this. Small. Unusual, but I like it.” He would’ve loved him no matter how he looked like.

“What happened?” Ushijima asked. “You were… you were dead. I saw your corpse.”

“Oh.” Oikawa shrugged. “Your fiancée killed me.”

“The princess?”

“Yes, the princess. She was crazy. You married her, didn’t you?”

Ushijima’s face dropped. “I married the woman who  _ killed  _ you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know- I had  _ children  _ with her. I thought… I…”

“It’s okay,” Oikawa said, and touched Ushijima’s cheek. “It’s okay. We’re here now. I died, but we’re together again.” He leaned forward and didn’t even care that somebody might walk in on them when he kissed Ushijima. He smiled into the kiss and Ushijima kissed him back immediately. It was their first kiss in this life, but it felt so familiar.

“Plus, for the first time I died and not you. At least it wasn’t me who had to spend an entire life without you,” Oikawa joked.

“That’s not funny,” Ushijima said. “I was heartbroken.”

“You had your wife, you managed.”

“I was married to someone who killed the man I love!”

“Ssh.” Oikawa put his finger on Ushijima’s lips. “She was a little bit crazy, I agree. Okay, very crazy. I can’t believe you had sex with her.” He sighed and kissed Ushijima again. “Let’s get out of here, I’ve been waiting for way too long.”

* * *

 

Ushijima in this life was way different than all the other Ushijima’s Oikawa has encountered before. Yes, he always looked different and so did Oikawa, but they were never  _ that  _ different. He still had the same soft smile and personality, but he was so  _ small _ .

Delicate and short and Oikawa wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to being way bigger than him. He didn’t mind, though. He liked it, liked being the one to have to bend down to press a kiss against Ushijima’s lips. He liked that he was now able to lift him up and have Ushijima’s legs wrapped around his waist when he kissed him passionately against the wall.

It wasn’t that different than it had been before. He was still the man Oikawa loved and Oikawa was still the one Ushijima loved. 

“You know, do you think we’ll ever be reincarnated in dogs?”

Ushijima stared at him. “What?”

“Just a thought. What if? I mean, we’re destined to be star crossed lovers, aren’t we? What if you’re a dog and I’m, I don’t know, a pig? Or if I’d be fifty years older?”  

Ushijima chuckled and kissed Oikawa. “We’re not destined to be star crossed lovers.”

“Yes, we are. You die or I die. Let’s not fool ourselves anymore,” Oikawa said. 

“Not this time,” Ushijima insisted, playing with Oikawa’s hair.

Oikawa sighed and laid his head on Ushijima’s chest. “You can’t be that naive! What could we even do? It’s always like this. We’re on opposite sites. Always.” And it hurt. He just wanted to be with the person he loved, why was it so hard?

“Are you giving up on us?” Ushijima asked.

“No! Never! I just- It will just hurt so much again. When I lose you. Or you lose me… I feel like I should prepare myself for it. And yes, we do meet each other again and again, but what’s the point if we can’t be together?” Oikawa whined and Ushijima kissed his forehead.

“I’d die all over again just to meet you once.”

Oikawa blushed. “That’s too- Oh, shut up, you’re embarrassing.” Oikawa looked away.

“It’s worth it,” Ushijima said, “even if I just meet you for five minutes and you killed me.”

“Haha! That’s not funny!”

“I think after two lives I am allowed to make jokes about it,” Ushijima defended himself and Oikawa laughed and kissed his lover again.

“Well, can I make jokes about you marrying my murderer?”

Ushijima’s smile disappeared. “No.”

“How mean,” Oikawa joked. “Next life then.”

* * *

 

They stayed together for way longer than in their past lives. Still, their relationship was a secret, but as long as they could be together, it was alright. Their families didn’t know that they were still meeting, but they did and talked about everything.

About their past lives, about their current life and their future lives. They were still the same, but still so different and it was nice learning new things about Ushijima. He suddenly loved tea when his past self hated tea or he had a fear of horses and he really disliked the sun. 

He was happy to be with Ushijima. That was of course, until the war started and they had to part ways.

Oikawa laughed, when he found out about it. “Why am I not surprised?” he asked.

Ushijima held out his hand and wanted to touch him, comfort him, but Oikawa turned away.

“I knew this would happen. Fate  _ hates  _ us. It wants to separate us again! Who is responsible for this?!” Oikawa muttered. Yes, they’ve had a few years together now, not like the many times before, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. He wanted an entire lifetime with him.

He wanted to grow old with Ushijima, just  _ once.  _

“We could run away,” Ushijima said and Oikawa looked at him with tears in his eyes.

“You and I both know it’s useless,” he said, “it’s just how we are. Destined to be together and destined to die.”

“Maybe we won’t,” Ushijima insisted. “Maybe we will both survive this.”

“And then what?! We’re still our families’ heir. You will be married off again and so will I. Maybe your wife won’t kill me this time, but it doesn’t change anything!” Oikawa screamed. “Is it too much to ask for when I just want us to be happy  _ once _ ?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

Oikawa hesitated and hugged his lover. “I am. I am happy.” He tugged Ushijima under his chin and then leaned back to kiss him. “I just want to be with you forever.”

“Don’t die,” Ushijima said. 

“Easier said than done. You died way more often than I have,” Oikawa said and Ushijima looked up and cupped Oikawa’s face.

“I will wait for you,” Ushijima said.

“Dead or alive?” Oikawa asked, sobbing.

“I don’t care. I will wait. Always.” He got up on his tiptoes and kissed Oikawa. 

“Why do I just have to fall for you in every life,” Oikawa complained. “Stupid. You’re so stupid to make me fall for you, every time, over and over again.” He put his head on Ushijima’s shoulder, who puts his arms around Oikawa’s waist.

“What if you die? What am I supposed to do?” 

“You know what to do,” Ushijima said. “Live for me and wait.” 

Oikawa closed his eyes. He’d rather be dead than live another life without Ushijima, but he didn’t say it out loud. If Ushijima would make him promise this again, Oikawa would have to lie. 

* * *

 

When Oikawa died, he was lying on the ground trying to remember the last words he said to Ushijima. He can’t remember. 

He smiled when he’s on the ground and closed his eyes for the last time, the images of Ushijima in his mind.

At least he’s not the one who had to live without the other this time.  _ Wait for me. _

* * *

* * *

 

“Young master.”

Oikawa groaned when the curtains in his bedroom were opened. His head hurt and so did his entire body. He drank way too much last. He sat up and stretched himself.

“What time is it?” he asked, looking around to find some clothes, but all he saw were other equally naked bodies next left and right to him. One was a woman, the other a man.

“It’s 4 pm,” his butler replied and handed Oikawa water and some pills. Oikawa took both wordlessly and downed the glass of water.

“It’s too early for this,” Oikawa said. “I just want to stay in bed.” He looked to the two partners of his last night and smirked. He barely remembered everything, but he remembered enjoying it a lot.

“I’m sorry, but urgent matters are waiting, young master.”

“Aren’t they always?” Oikawa stepped out of the bed and jumped over one of them to get on the floor. “Get me some clothes and run me a bath.”

“I already did,” his butler said. “The clothes are waiting in the bathroom for you.” His butler held out a robe and Oikawa stretched his arms out, so his butler could dress him. 

“Good. Send those two out and have one of the others give them a ride home, wherever that might be.” Oikawa ruffled his hair and walked towards his bathroom. 

The bath did him well. He was served some food in it too, just like he liked it. Oikawa poured himself a glass of red wine already and leaned back while listening to his favorite classical songs.

He dressed himself for the day. His butler sometimes dresses him, but Oikawa preferred to do it alone most of the time. 

He liked dressing himself in a white suit and his signature black leather gloves. Yes, Oikawa didn’t like to get himself dirty and do the work, why should he? He had other people to do it for him. 

“What’s the urgent matter?” he asked once they left and he was sitting in the car.

“Some men belonging to the Ootori clan were causing trouble in our territory,” the driver replied. 

Oikawa sighed. “Idiots. What happened to them?”

“We have them hold hostage.”

Oikawa smirked and lit up a cigar. “What are the Ootoris saying about this?”

“I don’t know if they know.”

Oikawa thought a little bit and leaned his head back. “How about we invite them over? The young master and me. Let’s see how much the lives of those two men are worth.” They were worth nothing probably, it was more about the honor of their clan. It wouldn’t look good if your people would get into the hands of your rival.

He looked out of the window and smirked. It had been a while since he saw Ushijima and it would be even better, now that he had the upper hand.

* * *

 

Oikawa didn’t see Ushijima that often, but every time he did, he was surprised by the other male’s presence. He was way broader than Oikawa and bigger. His dark suit hugged his body perfectly like always and he wore a hat on top of his short dark slicked back hair, which he took off as soon as he entered the place. 

A few men followed him, but none of them looked as intimidating and big as Ushijima himself did.

If Ushijima wouldn’t be his enemy, Oikawa would’ve climbed him like a tree. He smiled when Ushijima stopped in front of Oikawa and got up from his seat.

“Nice to see you took the invitation,” Oikawa said, his eyes wandering over Ushijima’s body. He wondered if he had any body tattoos. Oikawa himself only had the one on his back. 

_ Stop thinking about your enemy naked _ , he reminded himself. Which was really hard if your enemy was this hot.

“Of course,” Ushijima said and nodded. 

“You could at least bow,” Oikawa joked and sat down again. He offered Ushijima the seat across him. If it would be someone else he would’ve made his men search him for weapons, but this wasn’t just anyone. He knew that he’d insult their clan if he’d have their heir searched. 

He was sure Ushijima carried at least one gun and so did his men. Oikawa gestured for his people to at least search through them and Ushijima just nodded at his men, when they looked at him. 

He turned to Oikawa again. 

“So, take the drink and a cigar. Don’t worry, I didn’t poison any of it.” Oikawa smirked and licked his lips, watching Ushijima as he took the glass of wine.

“I didn’t assume it,” Ushijima said as he raised it to his lips.

“I would’ve,” Oikawa replied, taking a drag from his cigar. “So, you want to do this slow or the fast way?”

“The slow way?” Ushijima repeated and Oikawa shrugged.

“You know, we talk. We chit chat, I ask you about how you’ve been doing, we exchange some gossip,” Oikawa says. “We dance around each other until we get to the point.”

“I’d prefer the fast way,” Ushijima says.

“I’m not surprised. I heard a lot about you,” Oikawa says, licking his lips. “You’re not a man of many words. Maybe that’s how you climbed up the ranks so quickly.”

Unlike Oikawa, he wasn’t the son of his boss. He had been like any other member at first and climbed his way to the top and eventually was taken in by the boss himself and adopted to be his heir. Oikawa on the other hand has been raised to this role ever since he first came into the world, he didn’t know anything else but this.

“But you know,” Oikawa said and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and chin rested on his folded hands. “I like the  _ slow  _ way. I love to chat with you, never really had the chance before.”

Ushijima’s expression didn’t change. 

“How about this? You tell your men to leave and I tell mine to leave?” Oikawa tilted his head. 

Maybe he climbed his way up so well, because he barely changed any emotions and it was like he was wearing a mask. But Oikawa was good in reading people and he saw a little change in Ushijima’s blank expression.

“What? Scared I might kill you?” Oikawa teases. “You’re way bigger and stronger than I am. You can keep your gun, I don’t care.”

“Young master-” somebody cut in Oikawa, but he raised his hand.

“Leave us,” he said and his men bow before him and leave. Ushijima turns around too, and nodded to his, so they were both left alone. Oikawa poured in more wine for them.

“I’m not here to talk and drink wine,” Ushijima said.

“You’re not?” Oikawa asked. “What a pity. Oh, you’re here for those few men that thought they could stir some chaos here in our territory, right?”

Ushijima’s jaw hardened. “Yes.”

“What are you going to do? Kill them? Or just have their little pinkies cut off?” Oikawa raises his up. “Do you still have all of your fingers?”

Ushijima leaned back. “I do.”

“Good.” Oikawa smirked as a response. “I hope you know how to use them.”

Ushijima raised his eyebrows and Oikawa wondered if he noticed the seductive undertone in Oikawa’s words. Then, which totally caught Oikawa off guard, a dangerous smile appeared on his lips.

“I do.”

_ Shit. _ Oikawa had to hold himself back not to just jump in his enemy’s lap right here and there. His father would probably kill him if he’d find out he slept with the enemy.

“You know, I can’t just hand them over, right?” Oikawa asked.

“I am aware of that.”

Oikawa licked his lips. “I didn’t harm them,” he said. “I don’t like getting my hands dirty.” He was wearing black leather gloves today, without the usual rings he liked. “We were able to get some information out of them though, I’m not sure if you really want to have them back.”

Ushijima didn’t say anything, when Oikawa put out his cigar. “I wasn’t there when it happened, but I did talk to them for a bit. Their bodies were heavily tattooed. I wonder… do you have any too.”

“I do.”

“Show me.”

Ushijima stared at him and Oikawa’s smile didn’t leave his lips. “What? Cat got your tongue?” Oikawa teased. “Maybe I will give them to you without any payment.” He leaned back.

He knew this was degrading for Ushijima and that the other male wouldn’t accept that deal. Of course not, he was their fucking heir. He wouldn’t hear the end of it, if he would’ve undressed for Oikawa. He certainly wouldn’t have done it. But Ushijima wasn’t Oikawa.

He stood up and shrugged off the mantle around his shoulder and unbuttoned his suit. He didn’t break the eye contact with Oikawa while he took off his suit. Oikawa swallowed, his eyes widening. He wouldn’t have expected this.

And god. Ushijima was huge, nobody could deny this when they saw the man. But seeing him shirtless was a whole different matter. His entire upper body was covered in the traditional tattoos the Yakuza was known for and those muscles…

Oikawa didn’t even noticed his jaw was hanging open, until Ushijima sat down again, his eyes still on Oikawa, who cleared his throat and forced himself to smile.

“I… didn’t expect you’d do it. You’re full of surprises.”

“I’m glad I could entertain you.”

Oikawa licked his lips.  _ Fuck it.  _ He walked over to Ushijima and stood directly in front of him. “Do you have any more?”

Ushijima leaned his head back to look up to Oikawa. “Why don’t you find out?”

“Fuck,” Oikawa blurted out and Ushijima smiled in response. _ What an idiot _ , Oikawa thought and felt his cheeks heating up. He can’t have this. Ushijima can’t have the upper hand. Oikawa pushed the other male back into his seat and slowly settled down on his lap, straddling him. He ran his gloved hand over Ushijima’s shoulders and firm chest.

“What do you think they’d do if you don’t come out for a very,” Oikawa whispered, leaning in closer, his lips only a few inches apart from Oikawa, “ _ very  _ long time?”

Ushijima’s hands trailed down to Oikawa’s hips. “We’d have to hurry up then.”

“Hurry  _ what  _ up?” Oikawa teased, his hand touching Ushijima’s face. “Care to explain?”

As a response, Ushijima placed his hands on Oikawa’s ass, squeezing it, which made Oikawa moan. He bit down on his lip and placed his hands on Ushijima’s shoulders. “You’re a very bold man.”

“Only when I know what I want,” Ushijima replied.

“What do you want? To get back those men?”

“No,” Ushijima said, “I want  _ you _ .”

Oikawa’s whole body was so hot now. Never has he felt something like that with anyone else before, especially when Ushijima hasn’t even touched him directly. 

Oikawa leaned in, their faces so close from each other. “Then  _ take  _ me,” Oikawa whispered against Ushijima’s lips. 

Ushijima growled and rolled his hips against Oikawa, who now noticed that he was getting hard. Before Oikawa would do anything, Ushijima pulled him closer by the back of his neck and crushed his lips hard against Oikawa’s. 

Their skin touched for the first time and Oikawa let out a soft moan as he kissed him back passionately. And as they kissed, mouth opened, with a lot of biting and too much tongue, their memories of their past lives came back.

Oikawa was breathless by the time they broke the kiss. “It’s you,” he whispered and Ushijima smiled.

“Yes,” he said and they kissed again and again. Oikawa took off his gloves, ran his hands through Ushijima’s hair and body, while Ushijima tried to undress Oikawa. It took him probably too long, because he sat up, lifting Oikawa at the same time and then threw him down on the seat. 

Oikawa was too surprised and breathless, as he looked up to Ushijima towering over him.

“You’re wearing too much,” Ushijima growled and then ripped Oikawa’s shirt apart, the buttons flying everywhere.

“Do you know how expensive that was?” Oikawa asked.

“I don’t care. I finally have you back.” Ushijima kissed him again and Oikawa smiled, as he put his arms around his lover. The kisses Ushijima placed on his neck were burning up his entire skin.

“You’re so different,” Oikawa said, “from your past life.”

“How?”

“Well, for one, you’re twice as big,” Oikawa explained. “I’m not even kidding. What the hell happened to you when you were a kid? What did you  _ eat  _ to get this huge? Not that I’m complaining, but you were so  _ cute  _ last time _. _ ”

“I think I figured it out,” Ushijima said as he pulled on Oikawa’s pants. Oikawa lifted his hips to help him get them off.

“What?”

“We’re not destined to be star crossed lovers. We’re destined to be  _ enemies.  _ In every life.”

Oikawa blinked, as he thought about it. “You’re right. We’re… always on opposite sites.”

Ushijima nodded, his big hands running over Oikawa’s thighs. “Yes.”

“I like to think you’re on the wrong side,” Oikawa said, grinning and he kissed him again. “But first, fuck me. We can talk about it later. It’s been  _ way  _ too long.”

“Who was the one who got himself killed?”

“You’re mean,” Oikawa pouted. “World War I just  _ wasn’t  _ my thing. Can’t believe you survived. What happened? Did you have a wife and kids again? Did you name any of them after me?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk?” Ushijima asked and Oikawa laughed.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

* * *

 

“Wow. You ripped off my fucking shirt. What am I supposed to wear now?!” Oikawa complained. “How am I supposed to explain this to them?! Now they’ll know I fucked the enemy.”

“I’m pretty sure judging by how loud your moans were, they already know,” Ushijima replied, with a smile on his face.

Oikawa blushed. “You think you’re very funny, don’t you? You’re probably proud of yourself.”

“I am,” Ushijima said and leaned down to kiss him. 

“So what now?” Oikawa asked and just put on the jacket of his suit without any shirt underneath and buttoned it. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to be together forever?”

“I do,” Ushijima said. “I will never give up.”

“You’re still the enemy,” Oikawa said. “You should give up your clan, become one of us. We’ll take you in.”

“Why not you?”

“Please, the boss is my  _ father _ ,” Oikawa said. “I can’t leave him!”

“So is mine. Family isn’t always about blood,” Ushijima reminded him and Oikawa sighed. He was right.

“Well, I guess we’ll try to run away again. For the… I have no idea how many times we’ve wanted it,” Oikawa said. “There’s no crazy girlfriend or boyfriend I should know of, is there? Nobody will try to kill me again?”

“No, there’s not,” Ushijima said.

“What about war? You think World War III will break out soon?” 

“It will, if you’re not mine,” Ushijima growled, kissing Oikawa.

“Possessive,” Oikawa said, grinning. “That’s a new trait.”

“It’s not new. I’ve always wanted you to be mine.”

Oikawa laughed. “I am. Forever. I’m yours and you’re mine. And I love you this much that I will betray my family and run away with you. God, my younger brother will be an incompetent boss. My father should search for another heir.”

“So, we’ll run away,” Ushijima said.

“And be peasants. Hasn’t that always been the plan?”

“Peasants,” Ushijima repeated, chuckling. “That’s an old term.”

“Farmers,” Oikawa just said, shrugging. “I’m fine with everything, as long as I am with you.”

* * *

 

They manage to escape and live a year together, until somebody finds them.

Oikawa really hates that they’re separated so early again, but at least they’re not dying alone. When they’re lying next to each other on the ground, blood everywhere, their hands find each other.

“Wait for me,” Oikawa whispered.

“Always,” Ushijima replied, entwining their fingers.

* * *

* * *

 

“I’m telling you, Iwa-chan, we’re going to win against him,” Oikawa shouted over his shoulder. “This time we will!”

Iwaizumi nodded. “We will.”

It was their last game in Middle School and they’ve lost against Shiratorizawa so many times now. But this time Oikawa will not be defeated. This time he was the captain and so was Ushijima.

_ Ushijima.  _ If he won’t defeat him, who will?

Oikawa walked over to the line where Ushijima was already standing. He didn’t really  _ want  _ to touch his rival and shake hands with him, but they were captains now. He had to.

Ushijima looked as serious as always with his firm expression. 

“Hello, Ushiwaka, nice to meet you again,” Oikawa said.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Well, it’s not really nice to see you to be honest.” 

Ushijima stretched his arm out for Oikawa to shake. For a moment Oikawa just wanted to refuse, but then he took his hand and…

He immediately yanked it back when the memories came back. “What the-”

“Did you…” Ushijima asked and Oikawa nodded.

“Is everything okay?” The referee asked and Oikawa put on a smile and nodded.

“Yes,” he said. 

“Oikawa-” Ushijima said.

“Ssh, Ushiwaka. There’s a game for me to win and you to lose,” Oikawa cut him off, smiling. “We’ll talk later.”

Ushijima nodded slowly and returned to his team, as did Oikawa.

“Hey, what was that?” Iwaizumi asked him.

“Nothing,” Oikawa brushed his best friend off. “It was just awful to touch him, Iwa-chan. I should wash my hands as soon as we have a break!”

It was hard to concentrate during the game, but he wasn’t Oikawa if he wasn’t able to. When  _ Kageyama _ out of all people called him out on it, Oikawa glared at his kouhai. 

He will  _ not  _ be replaced by him and be put on the bench, just because Oikawa’s thoughts were all over the place. But could you blame him? He just found out his rival was his long lost soulmate or something.

And that they’ve been together in all their past lives and… that they’ve… Oikawa’s face heats up, thinking about it. God, was that embarrassing.

As soon as there was a break, Oikawa ran out of the gym and to the bathroom, splashing cold water in his face.  _ Calm down, Oikawa.  _ This was different. They’ve never known so early in their lives. They’ve always been at least twenty years old.

Now they were just fifteen! And he and Ushijima did  _ that _ … 

“Oikawa,” Ushijima said and Oikawa jumped up.

“Ushiwaka! Don’t startle me like this!” Oikawa shouted. 

“I’m sorry. I needed to see you.”

“I, uh, know.” Oikawa leaned against the sink and looked down on his shoes. Great, he remembered everything which also meant Ushijima remembered everything. He wasn’t young or too innocent. He used to have a girlfriend in his second year, but they’ve only ever kissed once or twice.

“I guess my theory was right,” Ushijima said.

“Huh?”

“We’re destined to be rivals. In every life.”

Oikawa laughed. “Rivals. Yeah, as in rivals that are enemies that are supposed to  _ hate and kill  _ each other. But this life? Ushiwaka, it’s hilarious. Pathetic, to be honest. We could’ve been reborn as the heirs of big rival companies again, or you know, again as the ones of mafia clans. But no, we’re just captains of opposites volleyball teams!”

“I’m glad,” Ushijima said and stepped closer. Oikawa didn’t even dare to breath. “That we’re not technically rivals.”

“We are, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa said. “We  _ are  _ rivals. I will go out there and defeat you.”

“I doubt that,” Ushijima replied and Oikawa crossed his arms.

“You know, just because we loved each other in like every life, doesn’t mean I will now! You’re rude, Ushiwaka,” he said.

“Oh.” Ushijima looked down and Oikawa stepped closer. “I’m sorry, I-”

Oikawa pressed a kiss on Ushijima’s cheek. “It’s weird,” he said. “That we’re so young now.”

Ushijima blushed and Oikawa smiled at that reaction. “You can kiss me,” he said. “I mean… if you want to.”

“Of course.” Ushijima kissed him. It was a soft and gentle kiss and Oikawa closed his eyes. It was over way too soon. “The break is over soon.”

“Huh?”

Ushijima stepped back again. “Will we… can we talk afterwards?”

“No, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa said. “I will celebrate with my team afterwards because we won.”

Ushijima raised his eyebrows as if he didn’t believe they’ll be able to win and Oikawa rolled his eyes. “But you can call me. Sometime.”

“I don’t have your number,” Ushijima said. 

“Well, then add me on Facebook or something,” Oikawa snarled back. “I’ll go back first. We shouldn’t, you know, come back together. That’s suspicious.”

“Okay.” 

Oikawa walked out of the bathroom, but Ushijima called his name right before he could leave and Oikawa turned around. “Yes?”

“I love you,” Ushijima said and now it was Oikawa who blushed.

“God, Ushiwaka, you’re so blunt! You can’t just say that!” Oikawa complained, his face heating up. “But… I love you too. I guess.”

“You guess?” Ushijima’s lips curled up into a smile.

“You know I love you, Ushibaka!” Oikawa shouted. “Don’t tease me!” He ran off and back to the gym.

* * *

 

“Hey, it only took us seven lives,” Oikawa said. “And we didn’t even have to run away to be together.”

“Would you have?” Ushijima asked, looking up to Oikawa who was in his lap.

“No,” Oikawa said. “Being a farmer? Doesn’t suit me. Plus, it’s unfair, because you’re a farmer.”

“I’m not a farmer-” Ushijima said and Oikawa put his finger on Ushijima’s lips.

“But your family owns a farm,” he said. “I’d look awful in overalls. I’d rather die than wear overalls.”

“Don’t say that,” Ushijima said.

“I’d. Rather. Die,” Oikawa repeated, his lips close to his lover’s. He leaned back and smiled. “What are you going to do about it?”

Ushijima sighed and put Oikawa off of his lap and onto their couch. 

“What the hell, Ushiwaka? I wanted to be romantic here!”

“You just said you’d rather die than wear overalls. Considering our history, that’s fairly believable,” Ushijima said and Oikawa rolled his eyes.

“I just wanted to pay you back,” Oikawa said, pointing at the dinner that was next to them and all the candles and the roses Ushijima prepared for their eighth anniversary.

“You could wear an overall for me,” Ushijima said and Oikawa wanted to throw the pillow of their couch to his boyfriend’s head, but then Ushijima dropped onto his knees and brought up a little box. “Or you could just say  _ yes _ .”

He opened the box and revealed a ring in it and Oikawa opened his mouth.

“I won’t wear overalls,” Oikawa said, when he finally was able to form any words. His voice was weak and he felt tears coming up. “But I will say yes. Thousand times, over and over again. Yes! Yes, yes.” He pulled Ushijima closer and kissed him. “In this life and any other life. God, that sounded cheesy as hell, please forget that.”

Ushijima smiled against Oikawa’s lips. “I love you, Tooru,” he said and Oikawa smiled.

“I love you too, Wakatoshi.”

* * *

 

When Ushijima was on his deathbed, they’ve done it all. They lived together, grew old together, had children and grandchildren. 

“Tooru,” Ushijima said with a weak voice. Oikawa reached out for his husband’s hand with tears in his eyes.

“I know. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you, always.”

Ushijima closed his eyes and Oikawa smiled. He couldn’t wait for the next time they’ll meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> pls... dont @ me for historical inaccuracy i did some research for like 1 hour straight (and now have useless information about banks in japan in the 19/20th century) but then after a while... i gave up lmao bye  
> (dont judge but yes i DID rewatch the history of japan. even tho it didnt helped me. at all. at least it was entertaining)
> 
> hmu @[ tumblr](http://sevenzerosevens.tumblr.com)
> 
> also i said i might rate the fic up and include a ,,, nsfw part (in that one yakuza life ya kno) but then i didnt thought this fic would become a 12k monster and i would be too lazy


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